Royally Obsessed

I don't really know that much about the British royals, except that Diana wore a marshmallow on her wedding day, Charles is a jerk, Camilla is the butt of a lot of jokes, William used to be hot but is now starting to resemble his dad, and though Harry used to be the ugly duckling he's turning into the New Hotness. That's pretty much all I got. BUT since my friend was hosting a 5:00 a.m. Royal Wedding Viewing featuring scones, mimosas, and petit fours, I figured that was worth my time to catch up with the Royal Haps. I have to admit, all I could think about at first was how much it would suck to be in Kate Middleton's shoes. I kept pinpointing all the places where I would trip or faint or vomit along the mile-long runway to the altar. Luckily (or unluckily, since it would've been more interesting if she had screwed up) her performance was flawless and there was no uber-embarrassment afoot. The only embarrassment, really, was the constant overhead shot of the wedding which capitalized on Prince William's emerging bald spot. Harry was the one the camera loved - in every shot sucking up all the attention in his big shoulders and bright red hair. From the safety of our viewing couch, we pegged Harry as the one in the best position ever - no hope of ever having to be the king, just money and girls and goofing off.

Then his girlfriend showed up, looking all boozed up and trashy (and we fell in love with her at first sight too):

And just as we were wondering what happened to Fergie, her daughters showed up as if straight out of Seussical:

It was truly a magical day. We were amazed at how orderly (and quiet!) the British crowds were. The crowd pans were only partly ruined by the camera noticing some drunk girls in giant pink cowboy hats with tiaras printed on them (Americans).

So now here I am back in my unmagical life, sad that I can no longer be a part of the stiff, quiet, elegant, royal hullaballoo. Le sigh. Tonight while I was buying anti-cat urine spray at PetSmart, two old ladies attacked the cashier and told her how much she looked EXACTLY like Kate Middleton. She was pretty, and kind of did, but when she opened her mouth and that deep, Baltimore drawl came out, it ruined the illusion. Back to my daily life indeed.