I haven't been able to go to practice all that much lately, and it really sucks. Mostly because the longer I stay away, the worse I am when I do return. So because I've gone only twice in the last four weeks, I'm starting to worry that the few skills I have acquired are starting to drip away. Case in point: Last night I accidentally went to a Travel Team tryouts practice (I thought it would be the normally scheduled Tuesday speed skating practice) and got my ass handed to me.
Sure, I should be proud of myself for:
- Not running out the door as soon as I heard what practice really was that night
- Not running out the door as soon as I realized I'd forgotten my blister-proof ankle booties
- Sticking it out the entire practice, even though I had to stop for a few minutes in the middle of each exercise
- Not crying with frustration at the fact that people who joined the league after me are now better than me
I don't know what it is. I already know that I can't compare myself to anyone else, but there's still a nagging feeling that irritates me when I struggle. Why am I not better than this? Why is it so difficult for me? It's just the pride, I know. But rookie pride? I don't really have anything to cry about yet, I just started. Try complaining when you've been in it for a few years and still feel like you suck ...
(don't worry, I'm sure that'll happen to me too!)