Oh I'm Making Resolutions, Damn It

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Everyone’s got their own opinion about the success/failure/point of making resolutions on January first, but I am always ALL IN. With reckless ideas that have no business coming true. This year I’m gonna fly! And morph into twins! And become immortal! Immortal flying twins, you just watch!

I think this year the most important thing I’m setting my sights on is focus and effort. You know that thing where when you’re in a crisis situation, you’re super efficient, and then when the immediate crisis ends and is transitioning back into “normality” again, you lose all direction and focus?

Yeah, it me.

I was GREAT during lockdown - I ate healthy, I stayed indoors by myself, I facetimed regularly with friends, I exercised, I created art, I cleaned, I read, I made plans. But when that period ended, and we all waded into the murky waters of What Year Is It What Do I Do Now, I sort of lost momentum. Like the hesitation of making decisions (which I struggle with) was now reflected in the atmosphere of every day.

During lockdown I lost my job. It was my dream job (making comics every week) and it was hugely fulfilling and validating for three years. But when it ended, I suddenly realized I had no back up plan. No skills to fall back on. Shit. After that I spent my time stringing together whatever projects I could find and wondering if I’d ever get back to a place where I wasn’t riddled with anxiety every day of what to do next. And, of course, I turned on the one person I could beat up the easiest - me.

I don’t want this to be just about complaining. EVERYONE is dealing with this shit post-lockdown. Isolation fucked us all up. What I want is to make this the year where I stop feeling sorry for myself and mourning past projects and focus on the here, the now, and the next. What am I made of now? How can I share that with people? What can I create that’s meaningful? Who do I want to be now? January can be a cold, desolate bitch but I always appreciate the opportunity it gives us to rethink and restart.

Here are some of my resolutions for this year (beyond the evergreen classics of more exercise, less booze):

  • Practice responding with kindness/curiosity

  • Be flexible in all areas

  • Vocalize my feelings

  • Give myself time/space to process

  • Be kind to myself

  • Learn something new

  • Ask for help

  • Reach out to friends

I’d love to hear how you all are managing your fresh starts too, or if you’re already KILLING IT and just maintaining awesomeness. Happy 2023, everyone!