Carry On My Wayward Off-Season

That's right, the off-season! I made it! I have officially survived my first roller derby season. Whew. And luckily the last bout was enough of a blast that it inspired me to want to train harder and get better even though I'm finally allowed to slack off. One thing I know now is that I fit in roller derby. Now I get to spend the next season figuring out how I want to fit. This will be no easy task. At first I slid easily into the "tall/lanky" category. Then we got a few more tall lankies on the league, so that was out. Tall, lanky, with potential to be fast? Unfortunately I got blown out of the water by other girls a long time ago. Speed can no longer be my thing. Other tallies have also claimed the grasshopper slots, the daddy long legs slots, the ninja slots ... so what's left for me to claim? I can take up room on the track? Roadblock?

Perhaps. I made the huge mistake (never, ever ever try this at home) of watching some of our latest bout footage in the morning before heading to work. In the morning, so there was no booze involved. Watching footage of the bout I was so proud of myself for - the bout where I actually moved and hit people and made a contribution.


It was so painfully horrible to see myself in action. My performance was most akin to the balloons in the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade - slow, wide, lumbering. Grraaaadually drifting over to the inside line to hit someone. Slowly eaaaassssssinngg over to help out a teammate. No quick movements, no lateral movement whatsoever. Slow and steady as she goes.

(this isn't the point of derby)

So even though I really, really don't want to, I'm going to gear up to re-watch. People have been telling me that watching yourself on tape is one of the best ways you can learn how to improve. (oh god) And luckily the rest of my team wants to watch, with alcohol, so maybe I won't be entirely focused on my hideous performance. No one likes to watch themself on tape. Even my captain declared that when she witnessed her own performance, she knew then and there she should become an NSO (Non-Skating Official). That made me feel an eensy bit better.

So here we go - onward into the off-season, and all the fun and embarrassing training opportunities it can provide!