3.28.04 Ah, spring has finally arrived in Maryland. My new friend Amanda and I decided to take advantage of the warm weather by eating outside in Baltimore on Friday night. We enjoyed our heavy Italian meal and were occasionally interrupted by random cymbal noises and drum hits coming from the band inside. Only when Amanda decided to tell me a story did the band strike up with full force and completely drown her out. We took that as our cue to leave. On our walk back to the car I pointed out the nearby Tattoo Museum where I got my tattoo almost a year ago. Since my tattoo isn't in a naughty place I pulled up my shirt to show Amanda what it looked like, and as she was bending over to inspect it a car blazed by and a guy shouted out at us "AW COUNT ME IN!" The next day I basked in the sun at California Tortilla and the Starbucks across the street. The local Starbucks Freak of 2004 was celebrating spring by sporting his best midriff shirt and super-tight white pants, both stretched over his disturbingly odd belly button. Then I frolicked with the Hollis puppies Dakota and Xander in their backyard, only to see them happily run up to me with a squirrel stretched between their teeth. Next Lauren and I got decked out to go to the Thirteenth Floor bar, where it was hot as hell, and not just because it was Mambo Night. Seems the heat won't be shut off for another two weeks because in Baltimore, they're not yet ready to believe the warm weather will continue. Ah spring -- how I love you so. (Oh wait -- spring means the return of the bees! Noooooo ....)

3.21.04 Ack, I'm a moron for not putting this up sooner, but go to Prom on Mars post haste for some good times and a 100th anniversary celebration! Alex Bernstein was gracious enough to let me do a guest strip in the Prom Remix Gallery, which is currently up and humiliating me with way better strips than mine (I'm talking to you Tim & Danielle!). So go check it out, and if the wacky guest strips don't make sense to you, read the comic already for cryin' out loud! It's on its 100th strip!!

3.21.04 The week of hellish apartment situations is finally over. After the water shutting off completely, it randomly came back on in the middle of the night with newfound ferocity and flooded our entire bathroom and hallway. Getting up at 2 a.m. and having to constantly ring out towels? Not fun. Luckily maintenance came with several fancy machines and inflated our carpet in order to dry it out. I thought we were in the clear until our ceiling started leaking this morning (this has happened at least five times since we've been here), and re-flooded the bathroom floor. Buckets are apparently our latest and most constant bathroom accessory. Why am I telling you all this? So that you will never forget this: A wet-dry vac is never a luxury item, it is a necessity!!

3.17.04 I guess you haven't really lived until you've taken a bath in two inches of ice cold water. In the latest of ongoing water problems here at fair Owings Mills, two water mains broke on Tuesday and knocked out all possibility of real water throughout Baltimore County. Woe is me and my chilled flesh ...

3.16.04 Happy early St. Patrick's Day everyone! I'm going to avoid the cornbeef and cabbage this year, yecch. But still everyone should go out and get pissed! I, however, am going to watch some hot repeats of Smallville . . . (insert cat noise here)

3.14.04 Is a month later too late for an APE recap? I'm going to go ahead and say that it's not. I had a lot of fun there so I wanted to mention some of what occurred:

We stayed at a lovely youth hostel that was not scary at all until we got a roommate. Oddly enough, we never saw him, although he came in at 8 a.m. one day (after not sleeping there), made a ton of noise gathering his stuff, and left. We never saw or heard from him again. Matt tried to get a look at him but was afraid he'd shove him into his suitcase, too.

The vacationing Halls let us crash their party time and go to The Steps of Rome, where an overtly flirty waiter tried to convince me to dance on the bar with him.

We checked out the hubbub at City Hall, where a lovely man giving away coffee for free -- Queer Coffee -- filled me in on all the riots of the past. How ironic that the religious protestors were the ones shouting hateful things at everyone else, being very angry and violent, while all the people supporting gay marriage were singing "Going to the Chapel" and having a good time. You think that would make those fanatics question their faith in the first place. . .

The pre-convention party at the Last Gasp was awesome, in the publishing/distribution plant's huge, crazy warehouse space. There was carnival art all over the place, wax figurines, and racks of books for sale. I drank 3 glasses of red wine before spilling any on my new white jacket (a truly amazing feat), and ditched a sweet couple I was talking to when I heard there was cake available.

We met up with Tim Fish, Brett Hopkins, Bill Roundy, Richard Ruane, and Greg Lockard Jr. to leech upon their bar hopping and good times. I discovered another loyal Smallville/OC fan in Princess Sprinkles.

We walked forever through the furniture store district to get to APE, where the lovely Madonnas were waiting to share their table with us. (Paul does an amazing newspaper comic with gorgeous watercolor-ish landscapes) I managed to sell some books, convince people that I was giving away free candy lipstick, and mesmerize people with a giant lipstick lamp. One guy who had heard of my comic told a newcomer that my comic "really wasn't that bad". The lovely Friends of Lulu peeps let me have a free newsletter featuring a drawing I did for them at SPX (please give me another shot I can do better!) I tried not to hurt Neil Cohn's broken finger when he passed along his book to me and suckered Mike DiMotta into drawing me a Beauty and the Beast picture. I squealed with delight when I tricked Jon "Bean" Hastings into trading me an uber-cute t-shirt and comic of The Thingie for G&U. I finally purchased some of Justin Hall's amazing True Travel Tales, and was too late for any of Derek Kirk Kim's books, but we traded stickers and candy and just talking to him was good enough for me! I also managed to get the hilarious Teen Boat, snag some of Raina Telgemeier's work, and buy Craig Bostwick's awesome SpoilSport CD.

The West Coast Gallaghers came by to add family support, took us to an amazing dinner, and then I got to chill with cousins I haven't seen in years. Watching my cousin Erin's baby Katherine force herself to eat a lemon was more entertainment than I've had in a while, and Brian showed us where in the Mission district you can get a great burrito at 3 a.m.

The second day of the convention we got a quick breakfast at McD's, where we witnessed this cute little girl knock all of her food onto the floor the moment she got it. To which her mother replied, "You f--ing bitch." Ah, classic family values.

I caught another Queer Comics Panel, which was much larger than the one at SPX, and covered a bit more ground. (Also it was completely packed compared to the one at SPX -- it's sweeping the nation!)

We tagged along with Tim, Brett, Bill, Richard, and Greg to a family-style Italian restaurant, where we were presented with an obscene chicken cacciatore and were doused with bubbles from an obnoxious baby shower at the next table.

We caught the trolley to Castro, where gay bars are not segregated like around these parts, and I was finally hit on by someone other than a crazy waiter (lesbian dance sandwich 2004!).

We rode the BART to the airport and almost missed our flight. We narrowly made it despite me running up the down escalator and spilling a fresh mocha all over myself.

On the plane to Atlanta we were accosted by a fellow passenger that knew everyone on the plane, all the flight attendants, called me Minerva, and asked a random guy if he was from Smallville.

So with all of my rambling I think it's evident that I had a stupendous time, met great people, and am eagerly anticipating doing it all over again at MoCCA.

3.10.04 Well verra luckily the dentist did not tell me I could never drink coffee again. He told me the stains on my teeth were merely from avoiding the dentist for three years. Oh, right, so that's why you have to go ... I was under the impression it was all an idle threat. I had even been considering using whitening strips -- but then I realized you have to use them twice a day, and who has time for that? I suppose I could use them during my hour-long commute to work, but that's when I drink my coffee! Oh wait ... maybe that's my problem. Okay enough dentist talk. I think I'm semi-allergic to cantaloupe. Is it possible to be only somewhat allergic to food? Or can you only have the I-found-a-piece-of-peanut-I'm-instantly-going-to-die allergies. Hm. Either way, my lips get somewhat itchy whenever I eat cantaloupe -- which is at least twice a week. . . Wow, what a boring news entry. Not so because I realized holy crap Scott McCloud linked to me! A big happy hello to any and all new readers here. I hope you have fun in lipstick land, and do come back because it can really only get better from here. At least in theory. Speaking of Scott McCloud, that reminds me I need to start reading Part Two of The Right Number ...

3.1.04 Alas, the update was going to appear tonight, but now it will have to be tomorrow instead. After putting it off for months, I called my dentist to make an appointment and he can take me tomorrow. Evil! No time to floss extra hard! So I'm off to the parents' for the night, because the dentist is in their sector. Wish me luck! Hopefully they won't tell me I can never drink coffee again . . . (last time it was the whole "drink nothing but water" routine. Savages!)